I feel broken.
I had a burden weighing in on my slumber last night. I had prayed that God would awaken His spirit in me. I don't care if it takes me breaking to reach His presence. I'm desiring Him, but I don't want to move. I thirst for His Word, but I don't make time to sit and sip.
Apathy and I seem to have paired up.
This has happened before, and it will happen again. I know what I need.
God excites me, He stirs up His passions within me. I simply refuse. I want to bury myself in my bedding and hope for the courage to relieve this anchor of idleness.
I don't want to see anyone. People I usually adore, praise God for, and rejoice with, I want nothing to do with.
Leave me, oh burden, flee from me affliction.
Self-righteous, arrogant, pride-driven pillar of salt I have become.
You let me down.
You roll around thinking you'll be okay tomorrow. You twist and turn, pressing up against your shame, against your pride.
Your sad songs aren't cute anymore.
Your clever words will not liberate your crimes from the chamber of your clasp.
Watch it fade, dim your eyes and hope for more.
But you can't run from this one. Your reach is not long enough, feet swift enough, nor is your charm sly enough.
enough is enough.
Leave it alone now. Burst into His brilliance and dance in His showers of grace. You know it, you knew it before and you know it now.
Ashes into answers.
Embers into emeralds.
He is your portion, from everlasting to everlasting, and forevermore.
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