Brazil: Histories, Observations, and Toilets

One of the girls who is currently in the teenage house used to do favors for others or use the little bit of money she had to buy crack, used to be a crack addict. Proudest moment was when she came to the Lar and quit doing drugs. She came to the Lar when she was about ten years old, meaning she had already been a practicing crack addict before this point. Her mom died from drug use and her and her sister have different dads. She is very loving and family-oriented. She has pictures and albums organized in her corner of the room. her sister, Ila, is also at the orphanage. The picture of Ila before she arrived at the Lar is similar to one right out of a compassion commercial. She is a tiny little, dark-skinned girl sweeping the gutter of a street with a small-sized Brazilian broom.



Girls sleep about six to a room, with generally three bunk bed per room. Split up into three houses, the girls are organized by age group.


The newer kids, came in about two weeks before I arrived. Their mom was a prostitute and would always be bringing men home. They are all from different dads. Somehow they ended up being passed off to the father of John-Vitor, the youngest one, about two years old, and he sexually abused the oldest and the youngest girl (adriana and maria). Social services brought them to the Lar. They are all very well adjusted. In fact, Adriana said her favorite memory in her life is the day she came to the Lar. They are all smiles while they are here, so full of joy and love. The father of John-Vitor wants custody of his two-year old son, but has no rights to the other girls, which he doesn't want anyway. John-pedro is showered with love and affection while he is here at the Lar with about thirty little-mamas that want to care for him, hold him, and love him.


Apparently, one of the girls was raped when she was three. These girls and boys have been abused sexually, physically, mentally, sold, traded, robbed, and neglected abandoned. When asked how they would change the world, many of them say they would abolish theft, violence, poverty, and hunger. It is also a common response for these kids to state their favorite memory being the day of arrival at the orphanage.


I had thought that these kids would have a sense of resentment or rebellion because they are stripped of the image of a typical family and placed in a children's home. In fact, these kids love it! It seems to be like a summer camp that never gets old to them. I have seen more bickering, rumors, arguments, and drama at a one-week church camp than I have in my entire stay here at the Lar. These kids are like family to one another. They have community, accountability, and fellowship as they live together. They help each other with chores, they give each other advice or a listening ear when needed. They tease each other and get in disagreements, but not in a relationship severing manner like friends may do. They live as family.

Some of the girls asked if I was a believer when I first arrived because I had a tattoo. A lot of girls and boys now want a tattoo from the moment of seeing mine. Paige said they have to wait until they're 18 to make that decision and one of the girls rejoiced because she would turn 18 this year. My roommate and friend, Mellissa, said that her beliefs were questioned by the girls when she first arrived because she didn't close her eyes during prayer. Bless their legalistic hearts, ahah.


Many of these kids were street kids before coming here and it shows in their mannerisms and certain behaviors. 


Some of the girls are masculine in their mannerisms and posture. Some of the girls will scratch their groins or swing their legs open while sitting, placing their elbow on one knee. One girl has short hair, and regrettably, I thought she was a boy for the first week. She also has a masculine laugh, I don't really know how to explain that claim, but I suppose it's your choice whether or not to just trust me on that one.


Some even make me a tad uncomfortable with how affectionate they are simply because I do not know their backgrounds and excessive touching, handing, kissing, leaning, etc. tends to wear on me, especially when in uncomfortable places. For example, one of the little boys (adorable little man) loves to give me a hug and a kiss every time he sees me. The first few times I was walking down the hallway outside my apartment and unexpectedly he came up to give me a kiss, not knowing his motive, I didn't lean down, and he ended up kissing my breast, also leaving a snot remnant on my shirt about an upper-lip distance above where he had kissed.


I learned to lean over or to do a side-hug from then on.


Another girl always wants to be in physical contact with me. She is always hanging on me or stroking me or playing with my hair, and I love it. To an extent. I consider myself a very touch-oriented person. I love the language of touch, I communicate very well and often with touch. However, I, too, have my limits. She would sometimes lean her butt on my knee, which I found a bit odd. I would move, and she would move over to place her butt leaning up against my knee again. This made me feel awkward and uncomfortable given that she has also done a similar action facing the other direction. I'm not going to read into anything, maybe she just has a touch complex, but I am simply describing what made me uncomfortable, due to my own predispositions. 


Some of the girls, and possibly boys, still wet the bed, even those in the teenage houses. I have also heard that some kids have tendencies to pee behind buildings, which is still a step up from the accepted behavior of those living on the streets, who would pee right at the curb of a busy street.

Also, in all of Brazil people do not put toilet paper in the toilet. Next to every toilet, whether it be in the airport, restaurant, or home, has a little trash can next to it for you to place your used toilet paper. This is quite a difficult habit for me to form. Not only am I not used to such expectations, but I don't like performing them. I also must admit that this pattern causes some public restrooms less than desirable to enter simply due to the lingering odor.


Many of the kids here are also very behind in school, or choose not to attend school after a certain age. Some of the 15-17 year olds are still in grades ranging from 3rd-7th, and school only lasts for four hours here, giving the children the option for school in the early morning or afternoon. Apparently the schools also have an option where the kids can opt to take a course that combines 6th-8th grade in order to get them out of the way. Fortunately, the Lar holds a higher standards of education than the school district and  there is a tutor that is available for the girls and boys to work with throughout the week. Most of the kids here, from what I know, are doing very well in school and seem to enjoy math and Portuguese classes.